Plant Code 2447B: "Subjecting Plants to Embarrassment":
Think about it. What if all the other bougainvilleas on the block looked like plants, and you had to look like an Apollo space capsule.
Detective Billy Goodnick is on the case, and pruning crimes are his specialty.
Ok, we northerners will have to swap out the bougainvilleas (jealous!) for some shrub that actually grows here, but the spirit of the crime against horticulture is the same.
Lookout you "people perpetrating pointlessly pitiful pruning on peaceful plants", the plant police are coming for you and your pruning shears. In my dreams.