Raccon Rant no. 27: I don't care how cute you are

He's baaaaack.... 10PM last night I heard a thump in the back porch. I ran back just in time to catch a furry ringed tail disappear down the back stairs. Ha! I knew he was trapped. The door wasn't open at the bottom of the stairs. He certainly looked very apologetic, grovelling almost. He tried to hide his eyes under the stairs, in a comical version of "If I can't see you then you can't see me", then when he peeked and saw that I hadn't disappeared, he wisely realized there was no hiding. Busted!!! He laid his head on the step in a most resigned and pitiful way. Do with me what you will, he seemed to say. As a precaution, and mindful of the fact that cornered animals can be unpredictable, I grabbed a corn broom and stuck it between us. He cowered, and gave me with a pleading look -- "Please don't hit me!!!". Faker. I reached over him and opened the door, and he got up slowly, turned his back on me and sauntered out with as much dignity and ceremony as a fat racoon can muster. He doesn't fool me for a minute.